
在英语学习中,阅读语法书往往不如阅读高水平的语法总结。至少,总结凝聚了作者个人的理解与原创思考。然而,纯粹的语法总结又远不如英语学习者所写的原创纠错内容有价值。因为学习者在写作中流露的,是一种自然状态下的语言组织过程,其所呈现的理解方式—甚至是误区—正是教师希望观察到的。只有基于这样的真实输出,才能开展有针对性的分析,从而实现“量体裁衣”式的辅导。此外,排版也不容忽视。清晰的版式令人悦读,促进理解;而混乱的排版则容易让人望而生厌,失去细读的耐心。
今天我所读到的这篇文章,作者态度认真,表达自然流畅,能够清晰地看出其组织思路与遣词逻辑。因此,我认为这篇文章非常值得深入探讨。文中除了出现“现在分词作状语与逻辑主语不一致”的问题之外,还存在一些其它表达上的瑕疵。先看看原文吧,请不要看我的答案,大家尽量挖掘其中的问题。后面有思考题[烟花]
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一,发现问题
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二,分析问题并修改
(一)描述过去的事要用一般过去时态。文章所有的is,应该用was
1.The atmosphere was grand...
2.It was very formal.
3.The phenomenon was that ...
(二)现在分词做状语,必须逻辑主语一致(除独立主格结构和特殊短语之外)
1.Coming back, Tom was very happy to see his son at home. 汤姆回来的时候,看见他儿子在家了非常高兴。
现在分词coming的逻辑主语是Tom
2.My brother hurried to school, running all the way.我弟弟急急忙忙赶到学校的,一路上跑着。
现在分词running的逻辑主语是My brother
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3.Standing there, the little girl wrote Chinese calligraphy.那个女孩站着写中国书法。
现在分词standing的逻辑主语是the little girl。
4.Being the bridegroom's aunt, both my sister and me were invited onto the stage to express each one's good wishes to the new couple.这句有严重的问题。
首先,要用主格代词I,不能用宾格代词。既然是新郎的姨妈,being the bridegroom's aunt,就是一个人,所以后面的主语应该是一个人。把together with my sister做状语,用逗号隔开。应该这样修改
Being the bridegroom's aunt, I, together with my sister, was invited onto the stage to express each one's good wishes to the new couple.[烟花]现在分词being的逻辑主语是I
作为新郎的姨妈,我和妹妹一起受邀登台向这对新婚夫妇表达各自的祝福。
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(三)任何句子都要有谓语动词,除了省略句之外。
Too many dishes. 不是句子。根据语境判断,应该用动词serve的被动语态。
Too many dishes were served.[烟花]
(四)最后应该用被动语态
Not too much waste was incurred.
但是,这样修改虽然语法正确,但是不地道。用there be句型更好。
There was not too much waste.[烟花]
浪费的不太多。
我最后的修改版本如下
The wedding was held in a professional wedding venue in a traditional way. The ceremony lasted long. The atmosphere was grand and impressive. Both bride and bridegroom wore traditional wedding costumes. It was very formal. Being the bridegroom's aunt, I, together with my sister , was invited onto the stage to express each one's good wishes to the new couple.The feast was really great and abundant. Too many dishes were served. Almost 1/ 3 of food was left untouched. A good phenomenon was that most of the left untouched dishes were packed and taken away. So there wasn't too much waste.
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三,总结
下面是DeepSeek对我的评价
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思考题[烟花]改错
1.My brother put his bag on the bike and rides to school.
2.The little girl stood at the gate of the office, waited for the teacher to come.
3.The old man sat in the room, watched TV.
4.Walking in the street, the flowers are beautiful.
5.Work hard, you will succeed.
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